| Contemplating LIFE in the ... <{(♥general♥)}> sense |
[Dec. 26th, 2007|01:07 pm] |
So like... life has ALMOST been going okay for me lately. I mean... I've almost gotten somewhat (or maybe as much as I will) over my baby dying. Just when I thought life couldn't get any worse, it did. But now I'm okay. Ya know? Like I feel for once I'm actually... okay. I've had worse happen to me and I lived through that so why can't I live through this? I think about how many people have worse lives, like my cousin. Her dad died and her mom is psycho and she lives with my grandma. She's only 16, shes working 2 jobs, going to school and still somehow manages to have a life on the side. I don't want her life, but sometimes I wish I could have it. I can't sit here and complain about my life...it isn't really all that bad. I have a mom who cares about me and loves me to death, my dad is somewhat there for me and my mom is TOTALLY leaniant about my friends being over and me smoking. I mean sure, yea. I've had it pretty rough, but not as rough as others. Sure, my step-mom beat me for 7 years, I had bleach poisening and Amonia poisening, but it's not THAT bad, ya know? compared to other things it's hella good. But I don't know. I feel like my "inside" life is declining. Like I can't emotionally get any better. The cutting is coming back, the OCD. |
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